


I Need You

by kams_log



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, at all really, basically cas wants to make love and dean is not about to have that chick flick moment, but fluffy, but nothing ever happens, enter at your own risk, it's really mindless honestly, lots of talk about sex, this is a mindless fluff piece i came up with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/kams_log
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean really, really likes Cas. But he doesn't know how to tell him. So he does what he does best. He tries to show him. Unfortunately, Cas doesn't put all of the pieces together and needs Dean to tell him how he feels. So Dean has to find a way to show Cas that he doesn't just need Cas. He really, really needs him. He loves him.</p><p>***</p><p>I wrote this when I should have been sleeping. On a school night. I hope you guys like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. This is a breather from my other fic, and kind of ties in with my other fic 'Lost in Your Arms.' It's entirely separate, but I guess it could go with it. Maybe? Idk. 
> 
> Ultimately, this wasn't edited much, so if there are any errors, I'm really sorry. Also, this is pretty mindless fluff with a touch of insecure Dean who can't talk about his feelings. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> *Also, I personally believe Cas is asexual. At the very least grey-asexual, since he is canonically shown to be relatively comfortable with sex and it's attributes. So I don't feel uncomfortable placing Cas in sexual situations. Especially not with Dean.*

Long fingers carded through blond hair, and Dean moaned into the lips that were currently busy making love to his. His body was warm inside and out with his back to the sheets and a long, hard-muscled body above his pushing him into the softness below.

He was shirtless, but it did nothing to alleviate the heat rushing through his body like liquid fire. Not that he minded, however. Nothing could beat this feeling. It was like basking under the sun, and in this case, the sun was Cas.

Except his touches were soft and cool, gentle against Dean’s burning skin. So maybe in this case, Dean was the sun, smoking out in a sea of darkness. And Castiel was starlight, cooling him and protecting him against the rest of the night.

Cas’s hands moved down, one cupping his face and the other touching his denim covered thigh. Dean groaned as Cas kissed him sweetly on the lips, then his cheek, his chin, his throat, and on and on.

Dean laughed as stubble scratched against his skin. He pulled Cas’s face back up to his and kissed him full on the lips, using his legs to push Cas over so his friend, partner, and lover was on his back, leaving Dean to straddle Cas’s waist.

Cas smirked up at him, his hair wild in all directions. Sex hair, Dean mused as he cracked a smile of his own.

“Enjoy the view?” Dean asked when Cas kept staring.

Cas hummed his approval and raised a hand to Dean’s face, petting through his hair lovingly. He’d been doing that a lot lately, ever since they got together. Dean liked it, but it also felt strange. Intimate. Well, they were intimate. They were both in bed, Dean already half naked, so they were well past that stage of their relationship. But the face touches, the gentle kisses. Damn, even the hand holding when they were out of the bedroom. It felt more than intimate. It was a connection of something more. And it simultaneously thrilled and terrified Dean.

Not that he’d ever admit to being afraid of anything.

“Very much,” Cas replied, his voice low and guttural. Sex voice. Dean growled and leaned down, recapturing Cas’s lips in a firm, heated kiss.

He was surprised when Cas only kissed back halfheartedly, pulling back sooner than usual. Dean looked down at him, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

“Problem?” Dean asked, studying Cas’s face carefully.

Cas’s gaze was serious, but his eyes still held that usual gentleness he always reserved for Sam and Dean. A kindness that Dean didn’t feel he deserved, but was eternally grateful for. God knew he’d messed up a thousand times too many to be reliable.

“I don’t wish to have sex tonight,” Cas stated bluntly. Dean’s eyebrows rose.

“Seriously? That wasn’t the vibe I was getting when you tore my shirt off earlier, Cas.” Dean sat up straight, half considering hopping off of Cas’s waist, but something held him still. Maybe it was the look in Cas’s eyes. Or maybe it was the sting of rejection, that Cas didn’t want to sleep with him. Which was odd, in and of itself.

“I want to do something else,” Cas replied. He reached forward and touched Dean’s hand, which was twitching over Cas’s abdomen. Dean let out a huff of air and set his shoulders back, looking down to study Cas’s movements.

“Let me?” Cas asked, using his hold on Dean to sit up himself and touch Dean’s shoulder.

The mark Cas had left on him years ago had long since faded. But even know, Dean’s skin tingled whenever Cas touched it. Like a part of him still remembered the feeling, the ripping as Cas’s grace tore him from the depths of hell and forced his body back together. One piece at a time.

It was a fuzzy feeling now. Warm and cold and electric all at once. It made Dean’s breath hitch every time.

“What?” Dean asked, but lowered his shoulders to show Cas that he was comfortable with whatever he had in mind.

Cas smiled at him and kissed his forehead gently. He wrapped his arms around Dean and laid him back down against the sheets and pillows, and Cas reached over to grab the blankets and pull them up over their bodies.

“You do realize you’re still clothed, right?” Dean huffed, but his tone was amused. “Are you thinking of a little ‘hinky-dinky’ under the sheets? Cause I am _so_ down for that.”

“No Dean,” Cas replied, also amused as he settled down over Dean’s body. “I have something more specific in mind.”

“Well then, what is it?” Dean grouched, beginning to squirm under Cas’s intent gaze. He wasn’t even _doing_ anything. So what the hell was up with all the foreplay?

“It has come to my attention that you are very eager for sex, Dean.” Cas stated calmly, and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Well gee whiz, Cas. What gave you that idea?” He pushed up his hips to prove his point, eliciting a small groan from Cas’s lips. “It’s not like I’m a mystery package.”

Cas shook his head, pressing a hand down on Dean’s hips to still his movements. Dean huffed and frowned at him, but stopped fighting as Cas gazed at him intently.

“No, you’re not,” he sighed. “That’s not the problem, Dean. You just seem _too_ eager. I worry that it’s only sex to you. I don’t want this to be just… _that_ , Dean. I want much more than that, please.”

Dean quickly averted his eyes, staring with fixed determination on Cas’s collar bone.

“Dean?” Cas murmured, raising a hand to touch the other man’s face, but Dean instinctively pulled back. It was only a slight movement, but it was just enough to startle Cas and break Dean’s heart. Cas’s face had a way of doing that to him.

“Sorry,” Dean quickly apologized, finally looking up and taking Cas’s hand in his own. “I just, uh, damn Cas. I don’t really know how to respond to something like that.”

“I understand if this is all you want from our relationship Dean. I just hope that you would say so explicitly. I don’t want to carry on believing something that may not be true.”

“Hell no!” Dean exclaimed, his hold tightening on Cas when he started to pull away. “No, Cas. It was never just about the sex. Although it is hot,” he added, licking his lips subconsciously before shaking away _that_ very pleasant thought. “I need you way more than that.”

“Then what do you need me for, Dean?” Cas asked softly.

Dean stared at him, jaw slack. Did he honestly have no idea? Dean wasn’t sure how many ways he could say it, prove it through his actions, before it could be as painfully clear as Dean wanted it to be.

 _I need you because I love you_. The words were there, in his head, at the base of his throat, but they wouldn’t come. Dean swallowed hard two, three times before he looked up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before trying to explain, “Everything, Cas. I just _need_ you. I need you like air, man. What do you want me to say?”

He sounded angrier than he felt. He wasn’t even angry at all. But he was frustrated. Frustrated and an inch away from shoving Cas over and kissing him senseless, _showing_ him rather than telling him just how much Dean needed him. Because Dean had his way with words. But when it came to stupid, complicated things like _feelings_ , it was so much easier to just shut up and _show_ it. Explaining just made things uselessly complicated.

Dean didn’t have time for complicated right now. Not when he was thinking about all the ways he could tangle Cas in his sheets and make the night an event it was originally meant to be.

“Like air?” Cas echoed back, his tone curious. Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. He tried to squirm away, try and take control again, but Cas’s hands were firm on his hips. He wasn’t going anywhere unless he really, _really_ wanted to get out. Then Cas would let go. But not before then. And Dean knew it.

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, staring at Cas’s hands.

“You know I love you, Dean.”

At those words, Dean’s eyes jumped back up to meet stormy blue, and his heart thundered in his chest.

“You do… know that. Right Dean?”

Dean wasn’t sure he could afford to keep staring at Cas when he had that look in his eye. That damn sincerity and affection, pushing through every pore in Dean’s body like some kind of loving attack until his whole body was tingling from his head to his feet. It was a similar sensation to drowning, only there was no water. But there still wasn’t enough air.

“Y-Yeah,” Dean choked out, hating himself for the hesitation. Of course he knew Cas loved him. He’d said it that first night they got together. Right after their first kiss. And the entire night following in bed, when they were _definitely_ not sleeping.

Dean knew it. He’d heard Cas say it many times. But it still never got easier to hear. It was still difficult to comprehend, and Dean couldn’t help but feel something must be wrong with him for thinking that way. But it was just a basic fact. And it was getting increasingly harder to ignore with Cas saying those three words over and over again.

“I don’t think you do,” Cas replied, finally raising a hand from Dean’s hips, only to reach forward and stroke Dean’s cheek.

Dean hummed at the contact, leaning into it without even thinking as Cas continued to touch him. His fingers were like heaven. Dean didn’t want to come down, but Cas’s gaze remained insistent.

“I love you very much Dean. When we have sex, it’s very pleasant. But I love you for more than just your body, no matter how physically pleasing it is.” Dean huffed a laugh at that, but Cas hushed him with his fingers. “The basic fact of my feelings toward you, Dean, is that your soul is infinitely more beautiful. And when we have sex Dean, I would prefer that it’s more substantial than just quickly moving through the motions. I’d prefer we made love instead.”

Dean choked as the words went down, and he tried to speak but Cas’s damn finger was still over his lips.

“But I do believe that requires both individuals to be in love with the other.” Cas’s voice seemed more hesitant and cautious than before, and Dean finally understood what the real problem was. It wasn’t just him, even though Dean knew he was half the problem. Cas didn’t know how much Dean loved him. Apparently, it wasn’t enough to give Cas all of his body. Apparently giving the last slice of pie or making sure Cas always had the seat next to him wasn’t clear enough. It sent a message, but it wasn’t ‘explicit.’ Cas needed to hear it. He needed to hear those three words from Dean’s own lips, otherwise, Cas would always be second guessing. He needed the vocal reassurance.

Dean just wasn’t sure he could say it.

“I’m pretty sure we make the qualifications,” Dean said instead, raising his hands and pulling Cas down to kiss him on the lips. Damn those lips. They’d been away from his face for far too long.

Cas kissed back gently, but pulled back again and looked at Dean carefully.

“Do we?” He asked, hesitantly again. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Yes, we absolutely do,” he replied. “I need you, Cas. I really, really need you to understand that.”

Cas stared at him for several moments, as though taking in the words one letter at a time in an effort to understand them. Dean wasn’t sure how he could make it any more clear. But the words just weren’t coming. He needed to make them come.

“I… Damnit Cas. I really care about you. I care about you more than anyone else, ever. Other than Sam, but that’s different. And damnit, now you’ve brought Sam into this!”

Cas opened his mouth, probably to mention that it was, in fact, Dean who brought Sam into this, but Dean continued, “I love you damnit! I love you a lot.”

Silence settled between them. Both of the men were stock still, staring at the other in surprise. Dean swallowed hard and shook his head.

“I… yeah. I do.” He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly finding the dresser incredibly interesting.

He nearly missed Cas smile, but he definitely didn’t miss the kiss that followed.

Dean groaned into it, his head hitting back against the pillow once more as Cas kissed him intently, their lips moving together like that perfect symphony they’d started with only minutes ago, before this whole mess started.

“I’m glad,” Cas said when they parted. “I love you very much, Dean. And I plan to show that to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Dean asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively and arching his back purposefully. “How so?”

“I said no sex tonight, Dean,” Cas stated, and instantly Dean deflated onto the sheets again, a pout playing at his lips.

“But we can make love.”

“I don’t care if that’s what it is. But we are _not_ calling it that.”

“Whatever you need, Dean.”

“I need you.”

“I need you, too.”


End file.
